Storytelling is Great For Kids, Not for Accountability
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who goes on and on and on, piling on new details until the focus of the conversation is completely lost? This kind of storytelling can distort workplace conversations and make it harder to clarify who is accountable for what.
As a listener, you may not be sure how to handle it. You don’t want to be rude and interrupt, so maybe you just stand there, only half-listening, while you’re daydreaming about the weekend or planning what you’re going to have for dinner. After awhile, maybe you lose patience and jump in and cut the person off.
Unfortunately, neither approach fosters accountability. And instead of the conversation bringing two people closer together on an idea, it drives a wedge between them. The talker may resent being interrupted or sensing that the other person isn’t listening. The listener may resent how much time the conversation is taking, or feel bored or uncomfortable.
As a leader, the key to dealing with storytelling is to address it before it happens. An upfront agreement with your people is the perfect place to draw a boundary around storytelling.
An upfront agreement is a pact established at the beginning of a relationship–or at the beginning of a new phase in a relationship. It allows people to have an ongoing conversation about how they want to work together. The agreement signifies a mutual understanding about responsibilities, expectations and communication.
“We all tend to go on and on sometimes,” you might say, “and I want to make you a deal. If it feels like you’re storytelling, I would like to have the right to call a time out and tell you, ‘I got it. You can stop now.’”
Commit that you will recap what the person has said, to reflect back what you heard. Agree that the other person has the right to challenge you if he or she doesn’t think you’ve really gotten the message. In that case, the story continues until you break in again with another recap.
It’s a pretty amazing idea, isn’t it? Have you ever heard anyone do this? Imagine the time this could save! Imagine how much more efficient and honest your conversations will be!
Storytelling is wasting your time and interfering with effective communication and accountability in your workplace. Acknowledge it. Plan for it. Put a stop to it – now.
If you want to stop the storytelling and get down to business in your organization, Alan M. Dobzinski is a masterful meeting facilitator who can make it happen. Contact him now to get started.
Accountability Success Begins When You Help Others to Get What They Want
“It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.” – Napoleon Hill
“You can only get what you want, if you help enough other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar
When you’re meeting with your people on a regularly-scheduled basis, it’s important to develop the mindset of helping other get what they want. And as you’re developing them, you’re getting what you want as well.
Beware, though, of egos, agendas, biases and the need to be right. All these things get in the way of that mindset. It takes preparation to truly get into the pure mindset of helping others. Just as an athlete trains for the big game, or a performer rehearses for a show, you need to get your mindset into shape before your next coaching conversation.
At the very least, take a few deep breaths and let go of whatever else is going on in your day. Focus all your thoughts, energy and attention towards the one person you’ll be meeting with. Here are five tips to keep you on track:
- Be fully present
- Let go of any agenda
- Leave your ego at the door
- Make it all about them
- Ask the other person to call you on it if you start talking about YOUR story
Coaching is not about you. If you’re nervous about it, get over it (this 30-minute quickie coaching template will help). You’re simply the facilitator, coach and conduit for helping the other person get what he or she needs. As a result, you, the leader, the firm and everybody in the firm, will get what they want.
If you have any doubts that this is true, drop what you’re doing and CALL ME at 1-800-489-6980! This works, and I would love to tell you about it.
P.S. Are you a senior partner or managing partner of a law firm or CPA firm? You are invited to participate in a ground-breaking research study about accountability in organizations. In appreciation for your participation, you will receive a complimentary debrief session with accountability expert Alan Dobzinski (regular price $1,000).
Quickie Coaching Template
One of the cornerstones of the coaching approach is to schedule regular coaching sessions on an ongoing basis. It’s this spaced repetition, with each session building on the last, that really gets the results.
As a coach for CEOs, managing partners and other high-level executives, my clients often tell me they can’t do this. They’re too busy. Especially for a full-length 90-minute session.
With a little digging, I always find that there’s something else going on here besides time. And that’s confidence. After all, these are CPAs and lawyers, not professional coaches. They wonder if they’re providing any value in their coaching sessions.
They conclude that no, they’re not providing any value, and there’s the excuse to stop trying.
Enough with the excuses. Remember that when it comes to workplace accountability, the buck starts here with YOU, the leader.
So if you don’t have 90 minutes, take 30 minutes! And I’ll show you exactly how. The following quickie coaching template will work at any point in the coaching relationship – from your first session to two years down the line.
There’s no need to feel self-conscious or hide the fact that you’re working from a template. Be totally transparent about it – you’re showing your commitment to being the best leader you can be. Download the template as a PDF and print it out to have in front of you during your sessions.
30-minute quickie coaching template
- Create an upfront agreement about recapping, so the other person understands you will be re-stating what was said and what the actions will be.
- Ask: What is the desired outcome of this session? Why are the two of us here? What do you (the coachee) want to walk away with? How can I (the coach) help you be more successful?
- Choose a topic where the coachee wants to be more successful.
- Ask: What is one thing you’re doing well? Listen, and then ask: And another? Another? Another? Until you’ve heard three or four things.
- Play it back – tell them what you heard them say they’re doing well, and ask: Did I get that right?
- Ask: Now what’s something that may be stopping or blocking you? What’s in your way? OR ask: What’s something you’d like more of or less of? What’s something you’d like to change or improve? And another? And another? Get three or four of these.
- Play it back: This is what I’m hearing – is that correct?
- Narrow it down. Ask: What is the one thing you want to work on changing today?
- Name the one issue and ask: Where are you on a scale of 1 to 10 with this issue?
- Ask: What is it that you need to get to a 10? What’s in your way of moving you to a 10? This is the meat of your coaching session. Now you have something tangible to work with.
- Ask: What do you think we can do about that? What’s one action you can take between now and the next time we meet?
- Keep stopping to recap along the way.
- Ask: How can I best support you, without doing it for you?
- Ask: When will you do this by? Without a time line, there’s no accountability.
- Recap. Ensure that your coachee is walking away with at least one action step, and that you’re both clear about what that is.
- Ask: What was valuable about this coaching session for you? How can I coach you better next time? Encourage your people to be open and honest. That’s how you’re both going to learn.
- Thank the person for his or her time, and schedule your next coaching session. Right then, or it won’t get done.
If you’re not having regularly schedule coaching sessions with your team, this template will get you back on track and into the coaching again. Remember that 30 minutes is better than nothing. In fact, my guess is that these 30-minute sessions of yours are going to fly by. And your people are going to get so much value that they’re going to be lined up at the door for their next session.
Are you a senior partner or managing partner of a law firm or CPA firm? You are invited to participate in a ground-breaking research study about accountability in organizations. In appreciation for your participation, you will receive a complimentary debrief session with accountability expert Alan Dobzinski (regular price $1,000).
Email Alan now to get started.
For Workplace Accountability, A Little Recapping Goes a Long Way
When you’re taking a coach approach to leadership by holding regularly scheduled coaching sessions with the people on your team, you might be tempted to end the session after you’ve addressed what was on the agenda. But don’t stop there! You’ll miss out on one of the most critical steps in the coaching process.
A recap is a summary of what was said, what you both committed to do, and by when. You play back what you heard, and play forward what you’re doing to do.
Though it may seem obvious, you’ll find, as you begin to use this valuable tool, that what one person says or intends to say is not necessarily what the other person hears. Often, two people in the same room won’t hear exactly the same thing. Or an important piece of information was left out of the notes you were taking. Or you’ll learn that upon reflection, it doesn’t sound like such a good idea after all.
There is tremendous power in the recap, and I rarely end a conversation regarding any sort of plan without recapping what was said.
In the workplace, I recommend that you discuss recap with your team member up front: “I like to summarize most conversations at the end with a recap, just to make sure we’re on the same page, okay?” Otherwise, when you start recapping at the end of a conversation, people might take offense or think you’re trying to control them. It can even sound demeaning.
They also might think you’re a little slow, but don’t worry about that. Soon enough, a recap will lead to an important clarification—“Oh no, I didn’t mean Terry Geller, I meant Terry Madison!”—that will justify the recap and demonstrate its importance.
When it comes to workplace accountability, recapping works. So be sure to introduce it early to make it safe to practice recapping, without any sense that you’re dominating the conversation. That way, both people will walk away with confidence and clarity, versus confusion.
BONUS: The practice of recapping is an excellent way to hone your listening skills. Too often we’re not present in the moment during a conversation; we’re thinking about what we’re going to have for lunch, or what we’re doing after work. Or you’ve already made up your mind about the issue and you’ve thought of the next thing you’re going to say when the person finishes talking.
If you know going in that you’re going to have to recap what you heard, boy, you’re going to pay attention. It’s a little secret to becoming a much better listener. And as a result, both parties will gain total clarity, and that leads to an increase in bottom line results. Voila!
Recapping is part of the accountability coaching model revealed in my book, The Accountability Factor: The Buck Starts Here. To learn more, please visit: http://accountabilityexperts.com/resources/alans-book-accountability-factor/
If You Want People to Be Accountable, Don’t Ride the Bicycle For Them
As a default mechanism leaders want to tell people what to do and how to do it. Coaching, on the other hand, is about listening, asking questions and patiently guiding people to discover the answers for themselves.
It’s a lot like teaching a child to ride a bike. Your daughter says, “I want to ride a two-wheeler.” It’s her goal. You’re there to help her achieve her goal. So you take the training wheels off. You find a flat, soft surface, such as a lawn. You demonstrate bike riding. You stand next to her, hold the saddle, and point her in the right direction. You run alongside for a while. But she’s the one pedaling. Otherwise, she’d never learn to ride.
Likewise, you must let your team members learn, and ride—and fall off—on their own.
One of the mistakes parents (and leaders) make is holding on to the saddle too long.
As part of your leadership accountability, your job is to help each person on your team to take personal responsibility for his or her behaviors, actions and results. Your responsibility is to guide and assist them in working toward their professional goals, and to eliminate the barriers to achieving those goals. You’re there to empower them. You’re not there to do it for them.
You can’t empower people by telling them what to do. And that’s the real essence of coaching – empowerment. To empower is to give people power and authority, or remind them of their power and authority.
To enable is traditionally defined as “to provide someone with the resources, authority, or opportunity to do something; to make something possible or feasible.”
Some leaders enable people to remain dependent or lackadaisical. If, for instance, someone handles a project poorly, and you re-do it yourself, you’re enabling that person to remain unskilled. Instead of empowering them to grow, learn, or develop, you’ve done their work for them, and actually hindered their progress.
As part of your commitment to empower, not enable, you’ll want to include this concept in your Upfront Agreement. The Upfront Agreement is a pact established at the beginning of a relationship that you design together with each team member, outlining your commitments, responsibilities and preferences for how you’ll work together.
As part of that Upfront Agreement, you might say: I’m not going to make decisions for you. I’m going to coach you to make your own decisions. I’m going to help you achieve your goals, and to do that, I’ll be asking you questions and supporting you along the way. I won’t ride the bicycle for you. I will run along side of you and help and support and guide you. I expect you to make mistakes. I look forward to discussing those mistakes, and learning from them together.
Has a CEO, senior partner or managing partner ever said anything like that to you? How would your work life had been different if they had? You can choose to be that sort of leader.
The material in this article was adapted from my book, The Accountability Factor: The Buck Starts Here. You can get your own copy at: http://accountabilityexperts.com/resources/alans-book-accountability-factor/
Having the Conversations That Are Hard to Have
In a previous post I introduced 10 steps to guarantee accountability every time. There may be some steps that feel easier than others. For example, maybe you can see yourself setting a time-line, but can’t imagine asking someone to “recap” what you’ve just talked about.
We’re not used to having these kinds of conversations. Yet if you want more accountability in the workplace, you have to face this discomfort head on. The Coaching4Accountability system and tools were designed to eliminate this discomfort.
I know that for some of you, this kind of direct communication sounds like micromanaging – you picture yourself having to rule with a spike, fear and intimidation. It feels like every time you meet someone for one of these conversations, you’ll have to “get in their face” if you’re going to get any results.
On the contrary. By avoiding the conversations, you’re actually making unspoken demands and taking a much heavier-handed approach.
Unless you approach conversations with your people in an open and transparent way, you will not achieve any accountability. The situations you’re avoiding won’t go away, they’ll just fester and get worse. This makes it inevitable that you’ll be facing even more difficult conversations – such as, “You’re fired,” or even worse, “We have to make some cuts because the business is struggling.”
If you want to start solving the “people problems” in your workplace, download a copy of my free report, “STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE: 7 Accountability Strategies That Will Actually Make a Difference to Your Bottom Line.”
To claim your free report, sign up here:
http://accountabilityexperts.com/free-report/.
10 Steps to Guarantee Accountability Every Time
Use these 10 accountability strategies to boost your own communication skills and gain better results when working with your people. When you communicate with clarity, you communicate with accountability!
Step 1 – Request:
Clearly define the desired outcome of what you are intending to communicate to the other person or persons. Think of it as starting with the end in mind. If you’re not clear, they will not be clear either.
Step 2 – Ask:
Ask the other person, “How clear is my request on a scale of 1-10?” Of course, depending on their response, you may have to go back and explore the area or areas that are unclear. Do this until you get an answer of at least a 9 or 10 on the scale. Again, you are seeking ultimate clarity.
Step 3 – Discuss:
Allow the other person or persons to participate in some sort of dialogue. This may include any questions, concerns or lack of clarity they may have about what you are requesting that they do.
Step 4 – Play Back:
Ask people to play back what they have understood from what you’ve said. This is an important part of this process before you go forward. If you are saying “green,” yet they are hearing “red,” you really have nothing to work with. Think about it!
Step 5 – Recap:
Now either you or the other person may summarize again to ensure ultra-clarity before moving forward. By “recap,” I mean to play back what the other person heard; not necessarily in its entirety, but enough to feel that both of you are on the same page.
Step 6 – Set Timelines:
Without timelines in the accountability process, we really have nothing. Your conversation merely becomes just a bunch of talk versus completed action. So be sure to establish the time frame for the item or task that you have requested. Timelines! Timelines! Timelines!
Step 7 – Support:
Be sure to ask what help and/or resources that people need from you and/or your company to ensure completion of the requested item. This is where you begin to become a real coach. Remember, you want to help or support people; however, you do not want to do this for them. This is just enabling and in the end, you will be working harder because you will be doing their job for them.
Step 8 – Check In:
Between the start of the requested outcome and the committed timeframe of completion, be sure to touch base with the person(s) about whether they are on schedule. We refer to these as “check-ins” which means periodically checking in (this is not micromanaging) to ask how they are doing and how you can support them. You may even ask what percentage of the task is complete. Check-ins have two benefits: 1) It lets the other person know that you are not only on top of this but that you care; 2) It also lets them know you are there to support them – this is very important.
Step 9 – Close the Loop:
Find your own personal accountability strategies to make sure that this project gets done. For example: Where have you recorded when this assignment is due? How long do you plan on waiting for its completion? Will you check in the day before, or by close of business on the due date? Or will you wait until the following day? Which do you feel will best ensure accountability? You need some sort of process or this particular request could drag on for who knows how long – maybe you’ll never even receive it.
Step 10 – Determine Consequences:
What happens if your request for the desired outcome is not achieved by this person on time? If it’s not, you may want to consider asking the following very simple question: “If you were in my shoes and this didn’t get done within the committed time frame, what would you do?” What are the consequences, if any, that will be implemented if the project is not completed?
How confident do you feel about using these and other accountability strategies in the workplace? Take this complimentary assessment and find out NOW.
